My biological sister lives in New York. I met her five years ago (I was adopted) and we lost touch when i moved and we got in touch again a few months ago. I asked her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding and she was sooo excited.
Well i’m too afraid to ship the dress to her in NY because it took three months for the dresses to come in and the wedding is in 66 days.
She wanted me to pay for her dress and fabric (for jackets to be made) and give it to her during my first bridal shower (this weekend because she’s coming to it)
She doesn’t have to pay the full amount of the dress because it was another girls bridesmaid dress but that girl dropped out and her deposit was nonrefundable. So my sister has to pay 104 dollars (the fabric for jacket was 40, and the dress was ORIGINALLY ordered for a plus sized girl and that made it 20 dollars more expensive, because the dresses in ‘non plus size’ were only 99 dollars.
also my sister has to take the dress in from size 22 to a 10, she insists she can do this and needs the dress now, She won’t return my calls now and im kind of stressed out as we’ve only got 66 days left to go.
i can’t overnight a package for her, i can’t pay for the dress and fabric
I guess my question is what to do in this case
I can’t give her the dress at my bridal shower, its not the tailoring im worried about, its getting the dress to her
The dress has to be paid for before it’s let go from the shop. She asked me to pay for it and I can’t , I do not have the money to put down for this.
Mar Mar the former bridesmaid refuses to finish paying for the dress. I can’t order a size ten because they told me that it will cost a bundle more to ship argh
i’ll see if i can have my fiance spot me some money or something like that but we’re very tight in money right now
I have a TOTAL of 60 bucks in my bank account to last me until the 29th, so i really can’t buy the dress lol
hey MRSRJRG, you can get over yourself telling me it’s my fault for not budgeting very well….
I had just enough to last me until ANOTHER emergency came up and I had to dish out money for medical expenses…so kiss it
You just have to make a decision to trust her or not. If she goofs it up, don’t let it ruin your day. But, if she pulls it off, it’ll mean that you have one less thing to worry about.
If it were me, I’d make sure she understood how important it was to me and then ship it. It’s almost like a test to see if she will do what she says.
Just a thought…
Is there another way to get in touch with her? Maybe her work # or by e-mail? This is a very important day for you and there aren’t that many days left. She should be getting back to you on this ASAP.
I’m not sure what you’re question is… But 66 days is definitely enough for what you’re talking about.
It will take a qualified, good tailor a maximum of two weeks (one week would be about normal) to do what you’re talking about.
Also, you don’t mention where you live, but if you live anywhere in the States or Canada, you can UPS or FedEx it to her and it will be there in a few days.
So, again, I have no idea what your actually asking, but don’t stress, you have plenty of time for all of this. I once was a BM and my dress was way too big and I didn’t even get it until a few days before the wedding and the tailor fixed it in a day (yes, you pay for rush service, but a week is the normal time frame).
Also, if it’s about the money or her not calling back, give it a little more time. My wedding’s in about 6 weeks, and no one’s paid me back yet for their dresses. I’m sure it will all be handled by your wedding date. If she continues to not call you back, you’ll have to face the decision of asking her to step down.
I’d just leave it for the bridal shower, she will still have 2 months to alter the dress. Just make sure that you get to see the dress in advance of the wedding, because she might try to be cute and add embellishments.
She’s being awfully insensitive when she knows your under enough stress already. Call her one more time, if you still get her voicemail, tell her that you would like to see her this weekend and that you will give her the dress at the shower. Explain to her that this is too important to entrust to the USPS.
Good luck and congratulations on the wedding!
She really does need the dress ASAP to get all of that done. If it isn’t finished, don’t worry about it. Just do your part.
Just overnight the package to her, and trust her to be able to fix it.
EDIT: Well, it looks like you didn’t budget yourself very well. That’s your own fault.
If you can’t pay for it and she can’t pay for it, then you are just out of luck. Just go on with the rest of your wedding, and try to keep the monetary costs modest from now on.
I also am confused about what the question is but if she is coming to your shower let her take the dress back with her if she is going to alter it herself. If you are afraid of what she may do to it then go somewhere where they do alterations while she is in and have it fitted to her and let her pay on the alterations since she didn’t have to pay full price for the dress to begin with. If she takes it with her check with the post office first, they have ways of shipping things overnight (guaranteed) and the dress can be shipped back to you when she is finished with it. It may cost a little more but you will feel better in the long run that problems are being solved, a big worry off of your mind.
The shower is less than a week away if I read your question correctly. I would definitely have the dress in hand by that date and trust that she will reimburse you later. It’s not worth aggravating her over something that’s fairly trivial – when you actually get the money.
Look at it this way: you’re going to be having a shower where people are going to “shower” you with gifts. Surely some of that will be cash. If you only have your eye on the bottom line, you’re going to come out ahead.
It’s not worth risking a delicate relationship over $104. She’s doing you a favor by replacing a bridesmaid (it sounds like). Send her a copy of the bill so there are no misunderstandings. You can stand to spot her a little money for the time being.
Also, if she is doing the altering herself (it sounds like) then it could very well take her longer than 2 weeks unless she happens to be a professional tailor. It’s also going to take a significant amount of time and effort to change a dress from size 20 to 10 – I’d be kissing her feet for doing this, not sweating the $104 price tag!
Whoa, there is NO WAY I’d ship a brides maid dress. First of all, to take the dress in that much isn’t going to work. I can guarantee it won’t look the same as the other girls dresses. I think you should just order her a size 10 for 99 dollars and make the girl who dropped out of the wedding pay for the first one. She shouldn’t have agreed to be in the wedding if she didn’t expect to pay for a dress. There are way too many risks to ship the dress, and by the time you pay for shipping and she puts all that time and money into re-sizing it, it won’t be worth it, just order a new dress and have them put a rush on it at the bridal store. Now, I’d tell her the new plan and if she doesn’t want to pay for the dress, find someone to take her place, but still invite her to the wedding.
hallo~wow brides do find themselves in some awkward situations don’t they? first of all its unfortunate your original b.m. had to drop out but at least it saved your sister a few dollars on the price of the dress.
is there any chance the bridal shop has a shop in new york? if they do could they send the dress with their own deliveries they make from one store to another? [did that make sense, yes, you know what i mean]. if they can then get them to ship the dress to their shop in n.y. they can do the alterations there and your sister can deal with them! ha! that would work little girl!
or……you said she is coming to town this weekend so you could get her fitted, etc. this weekend and they do the work, the dress stays here and she can pick it up when she comes back for the wedding! you could pop in prior to the big day and make sure its done!
btw: how nice is it that you two have found each other, and get along so well! thats a lovely thing sweetie!
So, why doesn’t she pay for the dress and pick it up while she’s in town for your shower? Why does she expect you to pay for it and then pay you back? Probably because she’s not going to pay you back. With how flaky it sounds like she is, I wouldn’t lend her money like that, as you’ll probably never see it again. Maybe she can call the shop and give them a credit card number over the phone, so you can pick the dress up. Sounds like she’s just being difficult, and if she cared about it, she’d find a way to make it work.